Letting go is not forever; it’s just the first step in your student’s future as an independent young adult. And one of the scariest bits of advice for parents and family: students learn from mistakes, so let them go learn.
- Many students show signs of letting go the summer before college. Almost all their time is spent with friends. The reason: your student senses the upcoming shift/change in those life long relationships, but they know parents and family will always be there.
- Sign up for Instant Messenger, and/or keep your cell phone with you so your student can contact you and keep in touch. But let them do the initiating.
- Nurture your student’s independence by encouraging them to do things on their own (i.e. calls to financial aid, grocery shopping, laundry, discussing confusion with professors/students).
- Your student is adjusting to a lot: time management, new people, roommates, rigorous class studies/schedule. It can take awhile. Stay positive and supportive.
- Guide them instead of doing it for them. Parents and family doing too much for their student tends to be misinterpreted by the student as a lack of trust in their abilities and judgment.
- Send care packages with favorite foods, rolls of quarters, books, new clothing, etc. It lets your student know he/she is on your mind even while not living at home.
- Most students call parents and family to complain about roommates, classes, professors etc. Let them get it out. You’ll hang up frazzled, but they’ll hang up feeling better.
- Your student is going away to college, not moving out. Keep their bedroom the same, and let them know they are welcome to visit and stay weekends and holidays.
- Expect time, sometimes weeks, without contact. Most students adjust to being away by immersing themselves in studies and meeting new people. They know parents and family are always there.
- Many college students become involved in extra-curricular activities. This does not mean your student is slacking in class work.
- Your student wants to be informed about big family happening like deaths, engagements, babies, and illness. Your student may feel forgotten, ignored, disregarded etc, if info is kept from them.
- Don’t be a “helicopter guardian,” that hovers over the student, never letting them decide or do things on their own.