Clammy Hands and Inner Voices: Some Timely Tips on Managing Musical Performance Anxiety
Written by Professor Kristy Meretta, oboe
LET'S TALK ABOUT A PROBLEM that sooner or later affects all of us. Maybe it's even happened to you already. PICTURE THIS.....You're all warmed up, your reed is okay, you're feeling pretty good WHEN.....your stomach's suddenly in a knot, your hands go clammy, your heart begins to pound, and, as you start to play you hear a voice inside you saying "I wish I could get out of this!"
WHAT MAKES US WORRY SO? A quick poll of high school and many college oboists reveals that, musically speaking, many of us worry that the "first note won't speak" or "we might be out of tune" or "we'll get too tired to finish" or "we might mess up". Many others express social concerns such as "feeling foolish" or "thinking you're a disappointment" to someone else if things don't go "well". Worries like these can be pretty debilitating.....unless we learn to understand them and deal with them in a positive manner.
WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND? It is normal to feel excited. It may even make us more alert. But when excitement turns to anxiety, then it is my experience that:
1. We are exaggerating the importance of our own performance. We have worked hard for this moment. We want to do our best. And we will try. But if our best isn't perfect or the wished for "one" rating is a "two", our friends will still like us, and we will go on breathing.
2. We have unrealistic expectations. In our practice we expect and strive for perfection. We drill. We stop. We repeat. We tolerate no errors at all. It's hard to remember that, in performance, it's the total picture that counts, and not the individual errors or bobbles.
3. We are more concerned about people problems than musical ones. The clammy hands and inner voices tell us our minds aren't really on the music. Our attention is distracted to negative thoughts, to what people might "think" or how we might feel if things go wrong.
4. We let those non-musical thoughts influence our musical performance. Our fingers "freeze up". We forget to count. Playing becomes absolute torment.
HOW DO WE ELIMINATE OR AT LEAST CONTROL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS? Let's make another list:
1. Prepare carefully. Deal with "the specifics" in the practice room. Some rules of thumb: identify your errors, isolate them, slow down, and don't go on until you can play the "problem" measure or phrase perfectly 5 Times in succession. And at the end of each practice session, try a complete "run through" slightly under tempo.
2. Warm up intelligently. Come early -- at least 1/2 hour ahead of your performance. Check your reed. Go through "hard spots" slowly and methodically. Start each movement. Mentally go through your piece, remembering tempos, places you need to crescendo, etc. After 15 - 20 minutes, stop. Get a drink. Swab out your oboe. Dip your reed in water, shake it out and put it in your case. You are ready.
3. Keep the performance in perspective. Now it's time to "just do your best." It may not be perfect. But it probably will be pretty good. And it may even be fun.
4. Concentrate totally on the music. Forget the crowd. Forget the judge. Stand tall, but consciously relax your whole body. Take in several slow, deep breaths as you focus on your music. Hum the starting pitches in your mind. Feel the beat, testing the tempo and style in your mind on a pre-selected passage (perhaps the opening measure, perhaps a technically difficult spot).
5. Glance at your accompanist,, signaling that you are ready to start. It's all routine now. Inhale in tempo, a quick, deep breath, while forming a totally relaxed circular embouchure. As you start to blow, set the air pressure at the tip of the reed, compressing the lips into a tiny opening and touching the reed with your tongue. Blow into silence ahead of your entrance, release the air into the reed and play.
THERE! The first note is out and it sounds fine! Now, move smoothly from note to note. Play as expressively as you can. Capture the spirit or the mood, and LET THE ERRORS GO BY. They're "water over the dam" and worrying about them won't help now. Suddenly, it's over and everyone is applauding for YOU. And you had forgotten they were there! Now that's the mark of a fine performance!
THE BEST WAY TO ELIMINATE THE "CLAMMY HANDS AND INNER VOICES" is to fill our heads with the musical and technical aspects of playing. Focus on the your playing and you will soon find that anxiety is (make that WAS) all in your mind. HAPPY PERFORMANCES TO ALL.
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